Hottie Whoo-Ha


On the tropical island of Oahu there lived a Blue and Gold Macaw named Clairice and her human companion, Haole. They lived on the second story of a Banyan tree house.

Every morning, Clairice cracked open a nut given to her by Haole. When her crop was full of nut meat, she made her way, beak first, down the weeping roots of the Banyan Tree.

Where the roots met the earth, Clairice lowered her feet onto the moist soil and waddled feverishly toward a place Haole called “nest”. Since Clairice was a kept bird, she could not fly and had no macaw mate, but she knew that “nest” was where she needed to be.

Haole quietly followed Clairice every morning on her journey. Upon reaching the entry of “nest,” Haole leaned down and wedged her fingers beneath Clairice’s toes, then raised her up over her head in fertility ritual.

Sometimes, Haole took Clairice home before she could go inside.

One day, Clairice decided to visit nest while Haole was busy working in another room. She made her way down the weeping Banyan roots, onto the soil and waddled toward that magical place.

As she crossed the lawn, she encountered a tortoise examining her. “Keiki, where you going?”

“To my ‘nest.’ Excuse me.” She waddled past him.

“Whoa, Keiki. Anyone tell you to cool off today? You Hottie Whoo-Ha.”

Clairice stopped and beaked at him. “Excuse me! What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Hana Okolele. You’re in trouble, tita. You need to go to wailele and cool off.”

Clairice paused for a moment and raised her claw. “Can you show me?”

The tortoise lowered himself so that Clairice could climb on his back. He walked very slowly, so that Haole could watch from the window. He carried Clairice to a small tropical waterfall at the edge of the property, surrounded by lava rock and ferns.

Clairice exclaimed, “Ohh!” and climbed off his back, giggling, whistling and chirping as she wiggled under the flowing water, trying to catch some in her beak. She flapped her wings and lowered herself to wiggle her tail upwards into the stream.

An hour later, she emerged from the oasis and found the tortoise sleeping. He opened one eye and she exclaimed, “That was great!” He replied, “Yah, now you Coolie Whoo-Ha” and went back to sleep.

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